There's No Business Like Jew Business
by Orange Parka Kid
Summary: While Kyle's father is away, Sheila thinks of a way to get more excitement in her life. Rated M for a reason.


**(a/n Sorry for not posting sooner, what can I say? I have a life. Anyway, this chronologically precedes A Face Only a Mother Could Love by about a month. You can probably put two and two together and learn that the boys had all lost the virginity to their mothers. Kudos to the reviewer who figured that out.)  
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* * *

**Chapter One**

"Goodnight bubbe," Sheila said.

"Night mom." Kyle said. "Uh, mom?"

"Yes, Bubbe." she asked.

"You don't think any less of me for being a virgin, do you?"

"Of course not Bubbe. Don't be ridiculous." Sheila said.

* * *

"Our son said the darndest thing, Gerald. Gerald!"

"Oh, yeah. What was it?"

"Our son said the darndest thing. He asked me if I think any less of him for being a virgin."

"Oh. Okay."

"So, you wanna?" she asked, getting closer to him.

"Sheila... I can't. I just can't," he said, pulling away from her.

Sheila, obviously dissapointed, turned over and fell asleep.

* * *

"Screw you fatass, I'm going home!" Kyle shouted, walking home in a rage.

"Stupid, pathetic, Nazi supremist asswhipe!" he cursed, opening the door. He entered the living room.

"Hey dad. Dad!" Kyle said. "Didn't you want to go play football today?"

"Your father isn't here, Kyle." Sheila said. Kyle's eyeballs nearly popped as he saw his mom walking downstairs. Sheila was wearing a skimpy outfit that left absolutely nothing to the imagination.

"Mom. Why are you dressed like that?" Kyle asked.

"Don't you know? I thought I'd remedy your little virgin problem," Sheila said seductively.

Kyle gawked at her. "What the fuck!?"

"Oh fuck yes. Talk dirty, baby." she said.

Kyle ran for the door but found it locked. Sheila walked up to him, bouncing her hips to and fro in an arousing manner.

"Mom, why are you doing this? This is sick." Kyle said, trying to talk her out of lustful frenzy.

"I know it is, Bubbe. But fuck, I haven't had sex for months. Your father can't even keep an erection. I need a man." Sheila said, like a crazed addict.

"Then go have an affair. Buy some male whore for thirty minutes. I'm your son, mom."

"That's why I want you! I can't have your father. You are the closest thing to him." Sheila said. "Please don't deny me this, Bubbe. Don't you love your mother?"

Kyle's resistance was wearing down from hearing his mother's constant plea. "Okay. Okay mom. I'm still opposed to it, but if you want, then okay. You'll have to show me what to do and all."

Sheila approached him. Slowly she began to take off his clothes.

* * *

Sheila knew what she was doing. She slowly took off Kyle's clothes. As sensuously as possible. She hoped that he would come to like this.

Managing to control herself, she slowly took of his shirt, giving Kyle a peek at her cleavage.

Finally, after what seemed forever, she had all his clothes off. "You're a very handsome boy," she teased, grabbing his penis in her hand. Kyle shivered, nearly jumping. But Sheila let go and took off her skimpy outfit.

Kyld gasped as he saw her heavy breast and he looked a little lower. Oh God!

"I see you like what you see," Sheila teased before getting on her knees, facing away from her son. She always wanted to try it doggy style.

"What are you doing, mom?" Kyle asked.

"Take me like a bitch," Sheila said. "Take me like a bitch in heat."

Kyle complied, grabbing her by the hair to keep her firm. Boy, he was learning quickly.

Kyle thrust, and Sheila gasped.

"Again Kyle. AGAIN!"

Kyle thrust again and again and again, he pulled Sheila's hair to pull her back on his manhood and she was loving every bit of it.

"Oh yes Kyle. YES!"

Kyle didn't know how long he thrust but eventually he came.

"Mmh, that was great." Sheila said, turning around to face him. "Oh, I see you have something there." she licked his throbbing manhood, sending it straight up like a lightning rod. Sheila fitted it in her mouth and bobbed her head up and down.

"Oh, mom." Kyle said, he held on to the coat hanger, his legs were wobbling from pleasure. After a few minutes, he came again. Secretly disappointed, he fell to the floor. Sheila cuddled up next to him.

"So, want to do that again?" she asked.

Kyle didn't even have to think about it. "Hell yes!"

* * *

**(a/n Thanks for reading. The next story will be Kenny/ Carol, followed up by an Aftermath. Please review. Even if you are going to flame, I love reviews.)  
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